I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
