Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I just found puke in my bra..
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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