Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
