I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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