I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
