I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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