She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I FOUND THE LEGS
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
