Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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