cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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