Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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