I puked a lego.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
