I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
