she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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