Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
