This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
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The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
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When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
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