Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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