Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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