Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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