Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
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I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
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The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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