im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
