I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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