Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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