Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
