i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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