I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
