i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Please don't give away my fajitas
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
