So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
