I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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