Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
sarcasm needs its own font
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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