Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Randomize
