I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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