My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
