Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
My liver is preforming stress tests.
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