He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
