i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
