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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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