So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
