laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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