I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
