Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
