Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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