Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
