bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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