woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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