Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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