The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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