Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize