I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
