You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
