Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i barfeds in our rink
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
