I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize