my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
