So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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