youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
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