I bet he comes in French.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
