what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
