The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
