Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
